Go Conversations
by CherryNinja
Summary: Sometimes life was like a game of Go, everything would be so much easier if you knew what your counterpart was thinking. But wouldn't knowing everything take out all the surprises of life?


This story is for everybody that (just like me) wanted more Xiahou Dun/Cao Cao.

I don't really know much about Go so I don't have any idea if it is an advantage if you are able do read your opponent. But since they seem to play Go all the time and chess hadn't been invented yet, this has to do.

* * *

"You will never beat me at Go like this, Xiahou Dun."

I chuckled and set another stone. "Why would you say that? I might win today."

"Not like this, I'm afraid." Cao Cao sounded smug when he set his stone and I had to watch as he took the two of my stones he had captured, adding them to his collection.

I frowned. "Well, maybe not today. But what about next time? You never know." I studied the board to see where I should place my next stone.

"Believe me, you won't. Not if you continue playing like this."

I felt slightly offended. "I know that I am not as good as you, Mengde. But I will get better, just you wait. And then I will beat you."

"I didn't say that it was because you are bad at playing, in fact you have gotten much better since we started. The problem is that you are too obvious. I always know what you are thinking and am therefore able to prevent it. And not only at Go."

I looked up a him sceptically. "You mean to say I am easy to read?" He nodded. "I have never heard anybody say that before. People usually tell me that I am stoic."

"Those people don't know you as well as I do."

That was probably true, but still… "I am sure there are still a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Oh, I don't think that there is much I don't know when it comes to you." His eyes met mine and his intense gaze sent shivers down my spine and made me kind of nervous. I looked down and hastily set a stone. I soon realized that it had been a very bad move, seeing as Cao Cao took my stone almost as soon as I had placed it.

I looked at the board more closely.

It might be true that he knew me pretty well, probably better than anybody else, but I was sure that there was plenty of me he didn't know. Well, there was at least one thing. The one secret that I was sure he would banish me for if he ever came to know. My darkest desire.

The fact that I craved my lord Cao Cao more than anything.

I had admired him since I had first met him. His presence, his strength, his determination, all that had drawn me to him instantly. And it hadn't taken very long for me to realize that I was falling for him, deeper and deeper with every day, every privilege he granted me, every minute we spent together. Not as lord and general, but as family, equals almost. I was one of the people Cao Cao trusted the most and sometimes I felt bad, knowing that if he ever found out, he would probably send me packing. I was lying to my lord, but I couldn't help it.

After a careful examination of the board I placed my next stone. When I looked up I could see on Cao Cao's face that he hadn't expected this move. I grinned. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think."

"Every dog has his day, Xiahou Dun." Cao Cao said nonchalantly while he set his stone after some contemplation. "But I still believe that I know everything about you, at least as far at it concerns me. After all you are the man closest to me." He looked up and there was as grin on his face. "There is nothing that is safe from me."

I picked up another stone and chuckled. "If you think so."

His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "Not even you deepest desires."

My hand froze in midair, my eyes going wide while the stone between my fingers dropped to the board. Did he…?

I slowly raised my head to look at him and saw that his grin was downright wolfish now.

I… I didn't know what to say. I wanted to move, to do anything, but I wasn't able to tear my gaze away from his.

When I didn't move Cao Cao's face got a soft look and he shook his head. "Oh Yuanrang. You didn't really think that I never noticed anything, did you? You are an open book to me."

I wanted to argue, to deny everything, but he sounded so sure that I would never be able to tell him otherwise.

Besides, he was right.

I drew back my arm and bowed my head. "Am I that obvious?" And did I really sound as defeated as I thought?

A sigh. "You're not obvious. And I don't think that anybody else knows."

I looked back up. "Then how did you…?"

"Your eyes."

My eyes?

"Your eyes are always so cold and hard. But when we are alone and you look at me they become kind of soft and dreamy." There was a small smile on his face.

I had always paid special attention not to act out of the ordinary, especially when we were alone, and now my eyes had given me away?

I looked at the board. The stone that had dropped from my hand earlier on had scattered the other stones on the board. I had ruined our game.

Suddenly I felt very weak and downhearted. "Do you want me to leave?" I didn't really know if I was talking about this room, the city or if I had asked him if he intended to release me from his service altogether. I wouldn't hold it against him if he sent me away, but it would be painful. Because even though I had never acted on my feelings, I had at least been able to stay by his side.

"Look at me Yuanrang." I looked up obediently. I couldn't really read the expression on his face, but he didn't seem angry. "Do you really think you would have been my closest companion for years if I resented you for your feelings?" I had to admit he somehow had a point there. I shook my head "I didn't think so."

There was silence. Was he waiting for me to say something? There was noting I could say, the decision wasn't up to me. "What will happen now?" Maybe he wouldn't send me away, but with my secret now out in the open, some things were surely bound to change.

Instead of answering my question Cao Cao got up from his seat and stepped around the board right next to me. He then bent down, took my face in both of his hands and brushed his lips against mine.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it still sent tingles down my spine and my heart racing. I hadn't even realized that I had closed my eyes, but when I opened them again I saw a warm smile on Cao Cao's face.

"Now I will show you around my private chambers." With a twinkle in his eyes he took my hand and led me out of the room and down the hallway.

I had been in a daze since Cao Cao had first touched my face and I suppose that right now he could have led me right into Lu Bu's camp and I wouldn't have noticed. Everything was like a dream to me. A dream that was about to come true.

When Cao Cao looked back at me and smiled, a thought came to me and I grinned.

"You know what, Mengde? Maybe I can't beat you at Go, but it seems like I still got the main prize."

* * *

I can't really decide if I like this story. It's either a really sweet little fic or a bunch of pseudo-sentimental crap. -_- Well, I hope you liked it anyway.


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